Ugh boy. What can I say? If you enjoy this series, then go see the movie and enjoy it. That’s wonderful and I am glad that you can find joy. That being said…this was one of the worst things I’ve seen in a while. I was equally bored and amused at the absurdity of what was going on in the screen.
What’s the plot of this? There is no plot. Anastasia and Christian get back together after having broken up and resume their boring relationship. Sure things happen every now and then but the movie is full of meandering. There’s the reappearance of an old submissive, Anastasia’s boss is a creep, Christian’s BDSM “guru” appears, there is a random helicopter crash. These little things pop up but never really dominate the film.
My biggest issue with these films is how sterile they are. Everything is cold and mechanical. The sex scenes are not titillating in the least. They always cut away and have some poppy song behind them to not be too graphic or realistic. It does not help when the two leads don’t seem the least bit interested in one another. Both actors are good actors and you get the feeling they regret signing up for these films.
The only good thing I can say is that there is money put into this film. So it is shot well as it would have to be since every room is brightly lit. Also there is a cliffhanger that is so reminiscent of the ending to The Matrix Reloaded that just made me cringe. This is not a good film and you can’t help but feel that everyone involved deserves better.